Last Chance
by fandm-writer
Summary: Sam's leaving for Stanford, and Dean has some conflicting emotions.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters sadly.**

 **Okay so I wrote this on the fly the other day because I was thinking about Sam going to Stanford and how people always leave Dean. And I'm sure there are tons of other stories like it but I really wanted to write my take on what I felt was going through Dean's head. Plus this kinds goes along with the whole concept that Dean practically Sam (which I've always felt he did.) And the whole Dean is Sam's brother, mother, and father lol. No slash, just brotherly love.**

* * *

Dean gripped the steering wheel of the Impala, foot steady on the gas. He cruised across the worn down pavement road, wind blowing lightly through the cracked windows. Sam sat in the passenger seat, looking out the window as distance and telephone poles flew by. They were currently on their way to Stanford, Sam needed to get there somehow and John was too pissed at Sam at for leaving. So naturally, Dean volunteered. Because that was his job, taking care of his pain-in-the-ass little brother. The sun was setting and dipping close to the horizon, casting golden light and creating shadows. All the while the light breeze blew calmly.

And Dean hated how fitting it felt. Because that's was this felt like, it felt like sunset. The last slivers of light before it all slowly faded out into a flicker and you where plunged into darkness. Dammit, now he was starting to sound like a damn chick-flick. But Sam was leaving, and for Dean this felt an awful lot like an ending. Like a sunset. Because this was the last time he was gonna see Sam, at least for a while because of how mad dad was. But it was also the last time things would ever be the same, after this, nothing was gonna be the same ever again. Yes, Dean was happy for Sam, he was overjoyed. Sam had gotten out, the hunter's life had never been for Sam. He had a chance, a chance at a normal life. But at the same time it hurt, it hurt so bad.

It was a bittersweet moment. And Dean wanted to make the most of this moment before his whole world was altered forever. For so long, so much of his life had been about Sam _. Protect Sam, look out for Sam, make sure he eats, make sure he sleeps, make sure he makes it to the library. Sam, Sam, Sam._ But now he was leaving, and as soon as he walked through those doors everything was gonna change. Dean was gonna be alone.

The best way Dean could describe the feeling was like a person who's only been given a little while to live. They know they're gonna die, and they wanna make the most of every second. Wanna smile and laugh, but there's that lingering shadow. The fact that you know that every step you take, every breath, every moment, is bringing you closer to the end. That's how it felt. But Dean was going to make the most of it, because this was his last chance. Last chance to annoy his little brother, and pretend like everything was as it always had been. Last chance to take care of him, last chance to make sure he had everything he needed. Last chance to take his little brother to school as he always had.

Then a familiar and classic song came on the radio, Dean turned up the volume.

"Would you turn that down?" Sam grumbled.

"Sorry, can't hear you." Dean teased, turning it up loader.

Sam rolled his eyes, but a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. Because despite the fallout Sam's actions would have, and where already having. Despite the fact that this was probably the most drastic decision Sam had ever made, Dean was acting as if everything was normal, as of everything was alright. Because at that moment it was, because at that moment it needed to be.

Then Dean started to sing loudly and very off key.

 _"Once I rose above the noise and confusion. Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion. I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high."_ He practically yelled.

Sam once again rolled his eyes below his slightly floppy hair.

 ** _He needs a hair-cut._** _Dean thought._

" _Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man. Though my mind could think I still was a mad man. I hear the voices when I'm dreaming."_ Dean continued, his voice building.

" _I can hear them say!"_ They sang in unison, as Sam decided to not be such a party pooper and join in.

 _"Carry on my wayward son, there'll be peace when you are done."_ They sang along with the radio, Dean drumming his hands on the wheel.

 _"Lay your weary head to rest, don't you cry no more."_ They continued in unison.

And Sam was smiling that big goofy grin that reminds Dean so much of that little boy that he could've sworn he was just yesterday.

Yeah, at that moment everything was alright. They sang, they laughed, they ate crappy take out. And they spent the night in a dingy motel like they always had since they were kids.

* * *

The moment Dean had been dreading came. He walked through the doors of that university with Sam, he was gonna spend every last moment he could with him. As they stepped inside, Dean immediately knew he didn't belong, he knew he was out of place. But Sam, he fit in seamlessly. Even though he was wearing plaid and jeans, he acted and seemed like he belonged there, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

They began to make their way to the office where Sam would be starting his orientation. Dean smiled a small smile, Sam had gotten out. He was here and Dean knew this was the start of his life, Sammy was going to be amazing. He was gonna have real job, a wife, and kids someday. He was gonna have a white picket fence and normal life.

He wasn't gonna die on the job, like Dean had always expected to. Sam was always meant for something more. He wasn't like other hunters, he wasn't like Dean. He was smart and talented and ambitious, no, not like Dean at all. All Dean was, was a grunt who wasn't good for anything besides taking care of Sammy and hunting. Dean knew where his story ended, at barrel of a gun, or the blade of a knife, or claws of some hellish monster. But not Sammy, not his little brother. He had a chance.

That didn't stop it from hurting like hell though. Somedays it felt like Dean had practically raised him, but now Sam...his little Sammy was all grown up, and actually going to a real college. But it was a lot more then that empty nest crap, it was like saying goodbye someone who filled the empty space of so many family members. Someone who was your world.

They stopped outside the office and Sam took a deep breath, excitement on his features.

"Wish me luck." He grinned.

"You don't need it, but good luck." Dean replied.

Sam took another breath, and for moment Dean saw uncertainty.

"Hey, what's wrong, don't tell me you're having second thought." Dean frowned.

"I don't know Dean, I mean I spent my entire life drifting from school to school. What if I don't make it, what if I'm not good enough." Sam spoke quietly.

"Hey, hey, look at me." Dean put his hand on his shoulders.

"You gonna be just fine. You've got this, you're gonna use that big brain of yours and you're gonna get through this, I know you will." Dean spoke.

"Sammy, you're gonna be amazing."

"And besides, I gotta have a good lawyer when I get arrested for grave rubbery one of those days." Dean added teasingly.

Sam cracked smile and chuckled.

"There, that's better." Dean gave him a pat.

"hey, I gotta get going, Dad's planning a hunt and I can't let him take this one alone. You've got this." Dean assured, before stepping forward and pulling Sam into a tight hug.

He held onto his brother tightly for a few moments, thankful he couldn't see his face.

"Listen, Dean..." Sam started, as they pulled away.

"Hey, no chick flick moments." Dean cut him off.

Sam just smiled and shook his head.

"See you around, Sammy." Dean said quietly, and it took everything he had to make sure the tears didn't pool in his eyes.

"My names Sam, not Sammy." He replied, though he didn't really seem upset.

"Alright then. See you around, bitch." Dean smirked.

"See you around, jerk." Sam answered.

He gave Dean one last look, then turned the knob and closed the door behind him.

Dean stood motionless, staring at the closed door for a moment or two. Then he turned and walked away, shoulders sagging just a little more than they did before. Dean walked out the door and got into the Impala. He finally allowed the tears to come. He rested his head and hands on the steering wheel, vision blurring from the tears. The occasionally drop fell and on his jeans as he hung his head stared off into nothing. He felt empty.

He didn't know how long he stayed like that, but eventually he sat up and wiped his face. Dean turned the key and let the engine roar to life. He gave college one last glance as he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the open road.

The sun had set.


End file.
